I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
