Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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