YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
