We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize