enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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