I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
