I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize