Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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