So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize