I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
