Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
