My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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