It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
