in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
