So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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