I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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