I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Randomize
