You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
