so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
