just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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