I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
