the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
