I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
