this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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