I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
