Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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