scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
