why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
