I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
