So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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