I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
