she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I party with great urgency now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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