She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
