dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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