did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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