I swear she didn't look like that last week.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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