I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
