At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
