i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
