i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize