Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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