You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
