just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
