i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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