how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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