Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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