Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
