Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
