worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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