Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She said her name was "party"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
