why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
