I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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