i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize