Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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