so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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