He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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