Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
