I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
