Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
