How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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